FULL TIME MASTY NON STOP FUNnn

SORRY?
A man was sent to prison for 20 years. He was so bored while in there; he found an ant and decided to teach it tricks - like beg, play dead, roll over, jump hair etc. He served his time and was released. He took his ant with him in a matchbox. The first place he went was to a bar. He sat down, took out the matchbox and emptied out the ant. He then said to the guy beside him, "you are not gonna believe what this ant can do". He showed him all the tricks and the guy was impressed. He told him that he could make a fortune with the ant. The guy with the ant was excited and called the bartender over and said "you see that ant?" The bartender put his finger on the ant, twisted it and said "sorry sir it won't happen again."
WHY?
A woman was walking in a graveyard when she saw a man kneeling by a grave shouting "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE???" Feeling sorry for the man she put her hand on his arm and said "Is that your wife your grieving for?" To which the man replied, "No it’s my wife's ex husband".



AS WORSE AS IT GETS!!
A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:Dear Dad,It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.I’ve been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it’s not only the passion, Dad, she’s pregnant.Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.Your son, ChadP.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that’s in my desk drawer.I love you! Call me when it is safe for me to come home!

BRAIN CHECKUP!!
While having a brain check up…Doctor : I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.Sardar : Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)Doctor : Did you understand what I just told you?Sardar : Yes of course, do you think I’m dumb?Doctor : Then why are you so happy?Sardar : Because that proves that I have a brain!

GUY WALKS INTO A BAR!!
A guy walks into a bar and there’s a horse serving drinks.The horse asks, “What are you staring at?”Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?”The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”